Sunday, May 4, 2008

Pre-Christmas Activities

Nzdec10a Up Clause and Personal

It has been a very busy week for us and that means more pictures and stories for you, my blog readers… For starters, last Saturday, Ronnel and I went to the movies. Yup, it is a very very rare occasion for us to go to the movies. Imagine, we were in Malaysia for two whole years and we only went to the movies four times! It’s not that we don’t want to watch movies, in fact, it’s the opposite. We watch movies everyday… at home! Well, thanks to our favourite torrent sites, we get to watch the latest movies at no cost at all, except for the internet connection of course. But of course, watching movies at the movie house offers a different experience so there we were, at Courtney Place’s Reading Cinema, enjoying Tim Allen’s new Santa Clause movie. The movie was really good but maybe we’re biased because we both love Tim Allen, all the way back to his Home Improvement days. Anyway, we thought that Reading Cinema was called that way because there were subtitles or it’s a movie house for the deaf and thanks to Paul, we learned that it wasn’t that, they just called it Reading Cinema, as a brand.

Nzdec10c_2 Part-ay!

On Tuesday, BNZ Technology (this is the IT Division of BNZ, just like ISI for BPI and Scope for Standard Chartered) held its Christmas party at the Boatshed-- a multi function hall near the lake. As it was my first official NZ party, I didn’t know what to expect. It was supposed to be a summer theme but the weather wasn’t cooperating so it was hard to wear a sun dress or short shorts. However, since there was an award for the best dressed, some braved the cold weather and wore summer outfits. Our team went to the $2 shop to buy some beach balls and inflatable tubes but it was so funny coz they were for kids and couldn’t really fit our waists. (Ok, I know Wilson and the guys at Scope are already thinking, “Haha, it’s not small, you’re just fat, Einge.” My retort is, “Sorry guys, I’m not fat here, just curvy. And, I know you guys miss teasing me.)

Nzdec10b We Gotta Wiiiiiiiii

I guess you would have known by now just by looking at our avatars in YM that we got a Nintendo Wii! Well, it’s actually my Christmas present for Ronnel, knowing that he’s crazy about these game consoles. (He gave me a new battery for my phone and it's a little pricey coz we had to have it shipped from Australia. They dont have it here in NZ. Good thing, he still had some credit left in his Maybank credit card.) Anyway, Ronnel was thinking of getting either the xbox 360 or the Wii and I went for the Wii coz it’s really a different gaming experience. It’s like you’re really bowling or playing tennis and stuff. Ok, for those who have no idea what I am talking about, check this out : http://www.wii.com . Anyway, we pre-ordered the Wii from a local gaming shop, EB Games, as it was scheduled for launch on midnight of December 6. So on Thursday, at around 11 pm, Ronnel and I were at the shop together with other game freaks, queuing to be the first ones in the whole of New Zealand to have the Wii. We had our first Wii game on a Friday night and it was really fun. It’s the first time (ever!) that I beat Ronnel in sports, bowling even! I am very bad at any kind of sports, despite my sporty look. My friends told me that at first glance, they thought I was very athletic but they immediately changed their minds when they saw me play in whatever sports they asked me to. I honestly don’t know why. It’s not that I do it on purpose. I try my very best, I put my whole body and mind into the task, but I still find my face flat on the floor. My P.E. in the university was volleyball, bowling, aikido and cheering (not cheer dancing, but the one where you have to shout and cheer for the team). That was in that order because on my first semester, I wanted to check if my bad luck from high school would carry over to the university. Well, it did. I nearly flunk volleyball because I always miss my serves, I look far away, thinking I hit the ball, when in fact it was just on my foot. I was able to up my score because there was an option to write a thesis about it. I aced the thesis and flunked the practical. In bowling, I had a passing mark but only because my prof took pity on me and gave me a mark for effort. On the third sem, I veered away from balls so I took Aikido. It was still a disappointment. I couldn’t fall correctly and all the energy I could get from my opponent was used against me instead of the other way around. Again, thanks to the thesis requirement, I passed. So for the last semester, I made sure I wasn’t going to involve myself in any kind of activity that requires me to move, thus, I went for cheering. All I had to do there was attend my university team’s games against other schools and cheer for my team. I had a high score in that class. Yay!

Ok, so back to the Wii. Since this wasn’t really sports per se, it wouldn’t be a surprise if I was good at it. Imagine? My score in bowling was 144 points! I remember back in our Scope bowling team, I barely got a 60 and I cried in the washroom because I was ashamed of myself, thinking I pulled my team down and it was all because of me that we didn’t win or something. Of course, my friends told me that it was just a fun game and it didn’t matter if we won or not but I felt bad just the same, and as you all know, I am a cry baby. I cry in the movies, I cry when I read a book, heck, I even cry on those touching TV commercials. Oops. I’m talking about myself again and not the Wii. Anyway, the Wii is a great game. You can create your own character, called the “Mii” and just like an Avatar, make it look exactly like you. Thanks to Nintendo for coming out with this. Because of Nintendo, I have regained my confidence in sports.. hahahaa

Saturday Shopping Stravaganza
Have I told you I met another Filipino friend in BNZ? Well, my boss introduced me to Ate Jojo as they were under the same team years before. Ate Jojo and her family have been in NZ for more than 18 years and they were practically Kiwis. Ronnel and I had lunch with her and a friend of hers last Thursday. It was a filling lunch, from food and stories. We learned a lot as they gave us tips on driving, buying a house and a lot of other things to watch out for in Wellington. She asked me if I wanted to go visit a Filipino store on Saturday. How could I refuse? (Shopaholic mii, remember?) So on a Saturday afternoon, Ate Jojo picked me up from our place. Ronnel was left at home as he was playing with his Wii, I guess he couldn’t accept the fact that he lost to me in bowling. (enter my devil laugh….mwahahaha!) Ate Jojo brought her mom along as we drove to a well known Filipino shop somewhere there (I am geographically challenged). I bought boy bawangs, nagaraya and other Filipino stuff. After that, we dropped by Pak n Save. I guess it was the NZ counterpart for the hypermarts like SM and Carrefoure. But the really cool thing in Pak n Save is that you get to pack your own stuff. I mean you have to bring bags to save on plastic bags, I suppose. I didn’t bring bags so I had to buy from them. I got too caught up in shopping that I didn’t realize I almost filled my cart! In total, I filled 2 bags plus 2 boxes. I knew Ronnel would eat me alive if he saw how many I bought (and how much I spent!) so I sent him an SMS, warning him that I bought enough stuff to last the whole year (well, it was December.. hehehe). We stopped by Johnsonville mini-mall (all malls here are mini-malls for me, waaaah) to have a late lunch and they drove me home. When Ronnel saw how much I bought, he just joked about it. Hmm… I was actually expecting to be reprimanded and I had all these arguments on my defence. I mean, he had to carry about four bags and two small boxes of grocery (Ate Jo even had to help us) and he didn’t scold me or anything? And then I realized why… it was the Wii! He was playing all day and he was in a good mood. I think he mastered bowling already and was ready to take me on anytime. Told ya, the Wii gives a whole new meaning to gaming.

Watch out for my next entry as we will be holding our own team Christmas party. I'll be introducing my new Kiwi friends to the magic of the Filipino Magic Mic!

Filipino Friendship Weekend

How comforting it is to know that we are not the only Filipinos in Wellington, let alone in the respective banks we work in! In BNZ alone, there are about over ten Filipinos and I’ve met most of them. In ANZ, Ronnel has several Filipino officemates but two of them were leaving New Zealand as their contract was finished. So we were invited to attend the farewell party, the despedida, that was held for these two pinoys.

Nzkarori_4Our First Pinoy Party
It was drizzling a bit when we went to meet Ronnel’s officemate, Philip, i
n McDonald’s Lambton Quay on a Saturday afternoon. We were a few minutes late since it was a long walk from our place. After meeting Philip at McDo, we dropped by his place for a while to pick up the food they prepared. The party was potluck so everybody had to bring their own contribution. I’m sure you know what I brought. What else could it be but my default time and taste-tested S.E.C. (Special Einge Carbonara)? My carbonara hasn’t failed me when I prepared it for my officemates in BPI (Philippines) and friends in Malaysia. It is palatable regardless of ethnicity and background… and I was hoping that it will get the same reception here. Well, it kinda did. I got one or two nice comments about it but it was better received back in those two Asian countries. It could be the cheese. My secret ingredient (well, it’s not secret anymore coz I’m telling you, right?) is Kraft Eden Cheese and well, they don’t have it here. I even dreamt about one shop that had it. Ok, back to the party. At Philip’s place, we met two other Filipinos. We stopped by another house and on we went to our final destination, the host’s place. The host was a well-known figure in the Filipino community here in NZ. He is the moderator of pinoys2nz yahoo groups and the UP (University of the Philippines) Wellington e-groups. His place was really nice. They told me he bought the area first then designed the house. The party was about to start and Filipinos from different sides of the city were pouring in. There were about 20 of us then, and mostly, aged late twenties and early thirties. It was our age group and it was nice to get to know how fascinating their move to NZ was. It was like the Filipino Diaspora told in different colours. There were lots of food, barbeque, shrimp, chicken, and of course my waiting-to-be-tasted carbonara. They had a sports fest before and we watched the recorded footage of some games they had. And of course, since it is a Filipino party, it was Videoke time! Out came the Magic Mic. Ronnel and I had to undergo an “initiation” rite to start the singing session. We did our rendition of Cher’s “Believe” which we usually sang at home (yup, we too had a magic mic. Haha!). The party ended at about ten but apparently, for some of them, it was just starting. We were invited to go to another house to continue with the Magic Mic session. We went along since we also wanted to spend more time hearing about their experiences in NZ. The stories could be different for each but there was one thing in common – going to NZ was never in their original plan. It was like everything fell into place for them and led them here, much like how it was for us (refer to entry “Finally in NZ.”). They told us that they usually spend their fortnight weekends like this, having fun singing and drinking up to four in the morning. We had to leave a bit early (about 2 am) and they were kind enough to bring us home since we didn’t have a car and we didn’t know how to go home . We were a little embarrassed that we couldn’t stay and it was reminiscent of the times we had in Malaysia. I remember Ronnel and me being called the “Cinderella Couple” because we had to leave parties and gatherings before the clock strikes twelve. I guess the sad experience Ronnel had staying up late before in BPI made us quite mindful of the time we go to sleep. (Side story: Ronnel had a problem with his lymph nodes when he had to work endless nights back in BPI. A big lump grew near his right jaw line and the doctor had to manually extract the pus inside. We were scared that it was a cyst and that he had to undergo biopsy but thank God, it wasn’t. The doctor then advised Ronnel to get enough sleep. Hmmm… come to think of it, Ronnel gets into a lot of weird health problems, doesn’t he? Remember the great tragic Malaysian basketball accident?) Anyway, it’s hard to explain to others that we have to sleep early. Well, technically, it’s just Ronnel, but since we are conjugal, that covers me as well. Plus, Ronnel says he can’t sleep without me by his side. So, we limit our activities to day time and well, we enjoy it that way. Sometimes, I marvel at how much both of us have changed over the years. I remember I was a party girl back when I was in the university. I didn’t stay home much and went out all the time. I was dubbed the “Alanis Morissette” of my org, with my long black wavy hair and groovy clothes. I could down two bottles of Red Horse (the most potent beer on earth) and can still walk straight (oops, hope my parents aren’t reading this). I was active in six different orgs and still manage to show up in class. It did wonders to my system and sometimes, I felt like a zombie – partying at night and clueless at daylight. Ronnel was my exact opposite. He was an ideal student and son. He helped in his family business, was active in his favourite sport (basketball), spent time with his younger brothers and found time to study (although he didn’t really need to, well, except for Accounting. But that’s a loooooong super unrelated story). I guess that’s why a lot of people were surprised when they found out that Ronnel and I were going out. I even heard that there was an on-going bet on how long we would last a couple. (enter Shania Twain, Looks like we made it…) Anyway, where was I? (Sorry, I have this knack of always going off-topic). As I’ve said, I marvel at how much Ronnel and I have changed over the years. I’ve mellowed down while he became a little more outgoing. I didn’t party at night anymore and he learned to appreciate shopping (my fave activity) and going out.

A Sunny Sunday Special Nzlotr
NzlookoutWe were late for church on Sunday since we slept late the night before. We make it a point to attend the 9 am mass and we’re usually early coz it’s a little embarrassing to be late. You had to open the big heavy doors of the church and people tend to turn their heads when the door opens. Anyway, today was also a special day since we were meeting Kuya Nestor and his wife, Ate Soc. Kuya Nestor is an officemate of mine in BNZ. I stumbled on his name in an org chart of the Development Team. Looking at his name, I guessed he was a Filipino and decided to call him up. Well, my guess is right. I went to his work place and introduced myself. Apparently, he has been in NZ for the past 16 years and joined BNZ only eight months ago. He has raised his family here and has three wonderful children. He invited me and Ronnel to have lunch at his place so there we were to meet them, on the Sunday morning mass. It was a wonderful day for sight seeing so they drove us along the Oriental Parade, all the way to Island Bay. We passed by the long seaside and saw people on the beaches (there was an Iron man Timex event being held that time). We dropped by the Warehouse (yay, shopping again!) where Ronnel and I bought some stuff for our house. We took the scenic route so it took us about half an hour to get to his place, otherwise, it would have been eight minutes only. It was all worth it. At their home, they both prepared lunch for us. Kuya Nestor barbequed while Ate Soc cooked sinigang and chop suey. It was a very sumptuous lunch, but most of all, we enjoyed their company. They told us stories of how they came to New Zealand and how it was so different sixteen years ago. Kuya Nestor was into gardening so he showed us the different plants he had in his backyard. After lunch, they brought us to the shooting location of Lord of the Rings. I got to appreciate how good a director Peter Jackson is as we saw the different spots used in the film. They also brought us to the LookOut, the highest peak in Wellington, where we could see the whole city. It was a great day out for Ronnel and me. They brought us home and we invited them to our little flat. We had to warn them that they might have to squeeze in and suck in air before they go in coz our flat was really small. We ended doing the very same thing we did the night before – sing with the Magic Mic!

And Darkness Falls
I meant that literally. When Kuya Nestor and Ate Soc left, I started cooking and preparing our food for the coming week while Ronnel did some ironing. I baked banana bread and was preparing our dinner so I switched on the stove. And came a big PLOP! Then everything became dark. The power tripped! Ronnel played around with the fuse box but nothing happened. We couldn’t call anybody coz it was Sunday night. So we had to sleep in the dark. I was particularly concerned about the food that I had just prepared because the fridge has no power and the food inside might get spoiled. Well, to make the story short (coz your eyes are probably tired from reading my looong entry), an electrician came over the next day to fix the main fuse box. And the food was still ok… we had it for lunch today.

Our Firsts in NZ Part Two

October 2006

(Note: If you haven't read my previous entries, I suggest you do so to have a better understanding of my rants and raves, mostly raves though, below.)

Nzmallhopping
Our First Project Runway

Who says what you learned in school can't be used in real life? Well, I'll be the first to say, No-uh! It's about two weeks before Ronnel receives his pay and we were running low on finances. We were holding on to what's left of our pocket money and we had to make the most of what we have. That's why at our flat, we had a lot of improvised stuff--- we had an improvised tabo (please refer to previous entry, "My First Number Two" for full explanation), recycled containers and we shared a toothbrush case (just the container, not the toothbrush itself). We bought some basic items like a quality peeler, ladle, printer and a blender. But for someone like me who loves to cook and bake but hates cleaning up, an apron is an absolute necessity. So we scoured the whole city for a cheap apron and couldn't find any. All aprons cost $30 and above. I couldn't allow myself to spend that much money for an apron though so I had a brilliant idea. Why not make one myself? Ok, so I went back to my 6th grade memories of how to make an apron and I remembered it wasn't that hard. So Ronnel and I went to this textile shop and looked for the cheapest apron material. We found some loose cloth for sale and it was perfect, except for the color-- which was dung brown. But that's ok. I could live with that. And so on a Saturday afternoon, this cute couple, Einge & Nel, were down on the floor, cutting and sewing their first project runway special. Ronnel did the threadin while I did the sewing. When my hands hurt, Nel asked if I could show him the back stitch so he can continue my work. Alas! His back stitch was even straighter than mine. So after three straight hours of toiling, we had made my apron! And it only costs $10, plus I had extra cloth for pot holders and stuff. Nel even wanted me to make him a pair of trousers. Ok, now, let's not go overboard...

Nzouting

My First Office Party

At work, we have lots of tea(m) meetings. It's basically a meeting between teams but with food. I guess it's the same anywhere you go. Food is a great motivator. I remember in Standard Chartered when we had to work on Saturdays and Sundays, our boss then would let us get any food we like. I was the designated order-taker and I was practically the most frequent customer of Dominos. My colleagues and I would order lots and lots of pizza to last the whole day (we were at work usually from day till night) and I was a bit worried that it would cost a lot so I told my boss my concern. I remember her telling me not to worry about the cost coz this is nothing compared to the effort we exerted and for working night and day for this project. I looked at my colleagues then and realized that yeah, food is a great motivator. So back to my real topic. Last Friday was the birthday of one of my officemates in BNZ. We had a small gathering to celebrate her birthday. There was an abundance of wine, cheese, crackers and strawberries. It was the first time I drank champagne at 4 in the afternoon! But the ambience was enough to make me feel it was night time. The people were great. I suppose as anybody would be in a new environment, I still had to adjust. I have to practice my listening skills to understand what everybody was saying and I bet they had a hard time understanding my accent too. But just like how it was in Malaysia, I'm betting that we would "get" each other perfectly as time passes. But in the meantime, I think we'll have to use a lot of "Pardon?, I'm sorry, and Can you say that again?". Sorry for the segue ways again. Now, back to the party. I didn't know the birthday girl too much since it has just been a couple of days since I met her but I believe she'll be as great as all the others at work. I never felt so welcome in my life. I guess for an Asian like me, this is all just overwhelming. It's the first time I received more than three compliments in a day. Just because I did some spreadsheet, I had been called "Super, champion, Great" in different occasions. At first, I didn't know what to say. I actually replied, "You too!" You see, back where I worked (in both banks), we show our appreciation with a mere thank you and that's enough for us, anything more than that would be over the top. So you'd understand why I'm a bit overwhelmed with all the "happy" words I get here. I'm not saying it's better here because I don't think it'll work if we do it in either Philippines or Malaysia. I think people will think you're crazy if you give out too many compliments and they'd think you're insincere. I guess that's sort of a reverse psychology where we work hard so that we can get the boss to part with that oh-so-hard-to-get compliment. Ok, back to the party. My officemates were a fun bunch. Someone played an 80's TV soundtrack cd and it was funny to hear the music from Knight Rider, Doogie Howser and MacGyver. There were free pretend-dance lessons. I learned how to do the big box, little fish dance and could now brave the dance floor anytime. I didn't feel left out even if I was really a newbie. But I also didn't feel patronized just because I was new. I was just there. It was a fun time and surprisingly, I had fun myself. I had doubts and fears on how to mingle with them coz however you look at it, I am different-- not just in color, accent or culture but I guess in a lot of things too. But one thing I'm sure of is that I never felt different when I'm with them. I felt I was blending! And that's a big accomplishment for me.

Our First Pay Check
It was payday! Well, at least it was for Ronnel but not for me. It wasn't my second week yet so I don't get my pay till next week. But that doesn't count coz I don't get to touch it anyway. Ronnel and I had an agreement that my salary will be our savings (down payment for a loan to buy a house) while his salary will be for our daily expenses. That's fine with me since that's what we did back in Malaysia anyway.

It was a big disappointment for the both of us when we found out how much Nel received. Tax was 39% so you could imagine our dismay when we saw his take home pay. All my dreams of getting a new digicam and food processor ended quickly. I had to do some budget re-prioritization. But we were ok with the tax being so much. It was because you really could see where your taxes went. Unlike in the Philippines where the government has to constantly remind us by putting up big billboard of "This is where your taxes go.", here, there is no need to. Remember, the library that was to die for? Plus, all the services here are fast and of quality. It took us only a few days to get our tax number and hopefully, our permanent residency application won't take long too.

Ok, so what was the first thing we did with Nel's pay? We bought pizza! It was no ordinary pizza, I tell you. You see, beside the flat where we lived was a pizza place called "Hell". Everyday for the past few weeks, we would pass by Hell and smell the aroma of pizza. It was absolute torture. People were coming out of Hell with boxes of pure pleasure with devilish grins on their faces. So we promised ourselves that once we have money, we will get one of those devilish grins ourselves. So on a sunny Friday afternoon, we went to Hell and ordered Lust, a pizza with pepperoni and salami on top. On the counter, there was this box of small foil packets. I thought they were chilli sauce or something so I took one. The pizza guy also gave us two so we were really surprised when we saw what was inside. You'll never guess what it was. (Parental Guidance advised) Well, as you're at the edge of your seat, I am going to tell you-- it was a condom. We were perplexed on how a condom and a pizza were related. I mean, does eating pizza make you want to fornicate? No offense or malice intended here-- I am just wondering whether there is a scientific explanation for that. Hmm, now I bet you're wondering what we did after eating the pizza. That's a secret.


My First Fix
I was having withdrawal symptoms. It has been a few weeks now since I've been in a shopping mall. You see, here in the city, there are no big malls. I like the shops, as they are lined up on the streets and very accessible during lunch time. But if you came from a country that has over ten big shopping malls (at least 1000 sqm), then Wellington is a big disappointment. I was getting grouchy already so Ronnel obliged me and told me we were going to Westfield this weekend. I didn't waste time. During lunchtime, I asked my officemates for directions on how to go to Westfield. The guys at work just couldn't get what it is with malls and women. They say it's as if the mall is our turf. For me, its more of a temple. My husband says I have a different aura when I'm in a mall, it's as if I'm in a trance. (note: You might want to read my previous entry, "Confessions of a Shopaholic").

So last Saturday, we woke up early and took a train to Waterloo, which is near the mall. The train ride brought back childhood memories when my grandparents and I took the train to Bicol (my province in the Phils.). The scenery was marvelous. You'll see the sea when you look out the window. Of course my husband's over-excited imagination prompted him to say stuff like what if there was a huge gush of wind that blew the whole train into the sea or there was a collision or something like that. But nothing could dampen my spirit -- I was going to the mall!

It was a long walk from the train station. I could hear my husband saying things like his feet hurt or something. Me? I was just focused on one goal- to get to the mall. While we were walking, we couldn't help but admire the houses. They were typical suburb houses just like those in Wisteria Lane (Desperate Housewives). We talked about having our own home someday. Hopefully, that someday will be eight months from now.

Ok, so now we were a few steps away from the mall. It was different from the malls that we had in the Philippines and Malaysia. First, it wasn't that big. It was like Amcorp in Malaysia or Ever Commonwealth in the Philippines. That was fine with me. It was still a mall. A familiar feeling rushed over me the moment I stepped in the mall. I had my fix. I think my face could have been ripped by how wide my smile was. There was an array of shoe stores, dress shops and book stores. We wanted to eat at the food court but there was no more place to sit so we went to a Japanese restaurant. We bought some household items from the Warehouse (similar to Jaya Jusco / SM) and spent a lot of time at the $2 dollar shop. Best of all, Nel bought me shoes! (Thanks again, Maybank Credit Card.) We went up to the third floor to check what was showing in the movies but we didn't find any that we wanted to see so we decided to go home. That's fine with me. I've had my fix. Hmmm... How long do you think this fix will last?


Our First Outing
Haven't I mentioned enough that the people here are really nice? A proof of that is Ronnel's new office best mate, Paul (I think I mentioned him in my previous entry). Paul offered to bring us to a well known Filipino shop and to show us sea view, which as exactly the name says, is a very nice view of the sea. So on a windy Sunday, after we went to church and bought some fruits and veggies from the market, Paul picked us up from our flat and drove us all the way to Woburn, where the Filipino mart was. Paul was very warm and friendly. He was easy to talk to and he had a sense of humor to boot, so the drive there wasn't boring at all--- although I was worried 'coz he kept on looking at the backseat while I was talking, considering that he was driving. But the road was empty so there were no other cars to fend off. When we got to the store, I quickly searched for the most important ingredient for Adobo-- Datu Puti Vinegar! It costs nearly $3 which was thrice the price in the Philippines but ofcourse when you factor in the tax, cargo expenses and stuff, think $3 is pretty much reasonable. Yay! I would now be able to cook Adobo (although I still couldn't get how my mother in law does her Adobo, mine tastes somewhat different but Ronnel has no choice but to eat it, doesn't he?). I bought bagoong (shrimp paste), balayan (anchovies sauce), laurel leaves and other stuff that I failed to bring from the Philippines. I think I spent almost $30 in that store alone. If Ronnel hadn't looked at me funny, I would have spent more. After that, Paul drove us around Petone and showed us where he used to live, went to school and where he practically grew up. (sidestory: Nel & I were arguing on how to pronounce this- Pet-wan or pe-tow-ni, the latter being my choice. Nel was saying that the first one has more French sound to it so that should be it. So thanks Paul, for clearing that up. It was pe-tow-ni. Just shows that I'm right most of, if not all, the time. Hah!) We had lunch at Cobb n Co, a western cowboy style restaurant, which had a great view of the sea. The food was great, moreso the company. After lunch, Paul brought us to Kmart. We also passed by the Outlet store (I will bug Nel to bring me there someday.) and Johnsonville, which they said, was where most Filipinos in NZ live. It was our first time to have a drive outside Wellington and we had great fun. It made Ronnel temporarily forget about the heap of clothes he had to iron when we get back home. But once at home, we were back to reality, I had to prepare our baon (packed lunches) for the coming week while my dutiful husband had to remove the creases on our clothes. We had a great weekend and we were ready for another week of adventure. Till next week! (Next week, we'll be attending a Filipino party with some of Ronnel's Filipino officemates.)

Our Firsts in NZ

October 2006

Finally, we’re here! After the long agonizing wait, our work visas have been approved by the New Zealand Immigration Service. We are now at a hotel resting from the 12- hour flight from the Philippines. As I’ve promised all those asking us about our “journey” to this beautiful country, I’m ending my hiatus from blogging with this entry.

Ok, so when and how did we start our journey here? It probably started when the promotion in our last jobs in the Philippines didn’t push through. Now that we think about it, it was good that the promotion was delayed, otherwise, we wouldn’t think of leaving the country and we’ll be stuck in the Philippines budgeting and scrimping for food. And so we went to Malaysia since Ronnel received an offer for an analyst programmer position in Maybank. If you are a friend of ours, you have probably heard of the freak accident he got into and the traumatic experience we both underwent. But with God’s grace, we pulled through and I even landed a great job in Standard Chartered as a business analyst. At first, I wasn’t that excited about being a business analyst, especially in Loans division. My dream was to be a project manager, just as what I was in back in the Philippines. To top it off, the systems was of a dinosaur age compared to the hi-tech ones we had in Internet Banking. Soon, I realized that mainframe was our ticket to success. And so I shelved my project management dreams and focused on being a good business analyst. I believe I did ok in that field and eventually, I enjoyed being a BA. Ronnel was being himself in its truest form. He was good at what he did and taught himself a lot of things. After a year at work, he was deemed one of the sifus (master) in Maybank as he was consulted with Cardpac matters.

We had it great in Malaysia. We even thought of settling there for good so we asked around on how we could be permanent residents. As it turned out, it wasn’t that easy. An officemate of mine who was non-Malaysian is still a non-resident and considered a foreigner despite being married to a Malaysian for almost over ten years. Upon my contract renewal in January, I then requested for me to be converted to a permanent staff. Although I’m reassured that my contract would be renewed every year, it is still disconcerting to know that one too many lousy moves can spark a pre-termination of my contract. As I’ve told my ex-bosses during my exit interview, having a permanent position would ensure my husband and me that at least one of us was secure. After the long fight with management, management told me that it was a no go. They told me and the rest of the contract staff in our team who wanted to be permanent as well, that it was against HR policy to convert and there was no precedent for it. (But I'd like to give credit to my boss Chooi Lai and Wai Hong then who were really fighting the battle for me, pushing management to make me perm. Even when I tendered my resignation, I was asked if I still wanted to try another round but I refused, not wanting them to go through the whole ordeal again.) By then, Ronnel and I decided that we had to look for a way out. We quelled our dreams of starting a family and looked for other possibilities. We explored several options – Canada, US, Australia and the last resort was to go back to the Philippines and look for a better offer. But for me, that wasn’t an option at all. I love my country but I am not a hypocrite. I know that we wouldn’t be able to give our future children the life that they deserve if we stayed there. We could barely pay the bills when we were there especially since we had a huge condo amortization, how would be able to feed another mouth? Our best bet was Australia. It was my dream to go there ever since probably because I adored Steve Irwin so much from watching Animal Planet (God bless his soul). Ronnel started researching about how we could go there and found out that it wasn’t so simple. Plus, the job market wasn’t that active for mainframe. We looked at the map and we saw this small country beside it. New Zealand. The first thing that came into my mind was milking cows and roaming sheep. It probably is the same with you guys. When everybody heard that we were going to New Zealand, I got all these comments about what will we do there, whether we are going to count sheep or anything. We try not to be offended since most of the comments were in jest anyway. So back to my story… Ronnel searched the job market in New Zealand and found a handful of job openings for mainframe programming BUT (yes, a big but) you had to be in New Zealand to qualify for the job. So we tried another way, Ronnel submitted his application for permanent residency online (just visit immigration.govt.nz for details) but we were not selected because apparently, despite working in IT, his major wasn’t Computer Science so we just didn’t have enough points. At first, we were disheartened because we were back at square one. But we couldn’t give up, we already invested time, effort and money (yes, registering for PR costs a lot) and wasn’t about to give up that easily. And so every day for two consecutive months, Ronnel would check the job sites (jobstuff.co.nz/seek.co.nz) if there were new openings that would consider him. He continued to submit his CV and the response rate was less than 10% and the responses weren’t too good. They all wanted us to be there first before entertaining us. And so that’s what we did. We decided to go there and personally check out the job market. It was a high risk for both of us but we just thought of it as our second honeymoon trip in case things didn’t work out. We applied our leaves and made arrangements for our travel to NZ. At that same week, Ronnel got a positive reply from one of the sites where he submitted his CV. They wanted to interview him. Prior to that, some other headhunters were also interested in meeting us. Ronnel got the call from his interviewers a week before we were scheduled to go to NZ. Ronnel thought that the job interview was a disaster. He had trouble understanding their accents and the phone reception was bad but I think he did great, and so did his interviewers since they wanted to meet him on our trip to NZ.

And so with nothing but prayers and a bag full of hopes and dreams, we trudged to New Zealand to make the first step in achieving a better future. We only had more than a week to do what we had to do. We succumbed to God’s grace and knew that whatever was going to happen was all according to His plans. All the odds were against us primarily because we were non-residents but we went through the meetings anyway. It was the height of the winter season when we arrived in the last week of July. When we met Ronnel’s future bosses in ANZ National Bank, we were ecstatic. He was a Malaysian who was residing in NZ for more than ten years with his family. We knew that this was God’s gift to us. Ronnel’s boss knew exactly how we felt. He shared how he and his wife went to NZ and decided to stay here for good. We shared with him our plans of doing the same thing. I think at this point, Ronnel’s IT background and experience was already a done deal. It was just a matter of whether he had the qualities to fit in and adjust in a new environment. We went through some other interviews with headhunters and that went fine too. At that time, I also had an interview with Bank of New Zealand. They had an opening for a project manager at that time and I applied for it but I was told that I still lack the experience to be a PM but if I was interested, I could apply for the Senior Business Analyst contract position that they had. I went through the interview with HR and I liked the job. It was similar with what I was doing in Standard Chartered but more challenging since the position dealt with multiple applications. On day 3 of our trip, both Ronnel and I were already jittery because we were both waiting for a call back. Ronnel was the one who first got a call. He received a job offer and they gave him what he asked for. My call soon came and I was asked to go for another interview. This time it would be with the team that I’ll be joining. The interview went well. I liked my interviewers at sight. I felt genuine warmth and sincerity all throughout the interview and I hoped that the feeling was mutual. But whatever the outcome of my interview was just an icing on the cake. Our cake was in Ronnel’s hands. He got the job and it was a permanent position. He updated our previous PR application and our points increased. With these extra points, we were selected and we received an invitation to apply for a PR in NZ. We couldn’t believe what was happening. It was like our future flashed into our minds and we walked in the park hand in hand with silly grins on our faces. I pictured myself holding our chubby baby with red cheeks and curly locks. Everything was falling into place.

We went back to Malaysia and did what we had to do. We spoke with our respective bosses and relayed what has happened. Their reactions were a mix of surprise, happiness (for us) and disappointment (for losing us). Everything was a flurry by then. Ronnel’s contract was ending soon so he didn’t need to wait long before he went back to the Philippines. He had to go first to make quick arrangements for our Visas. I had to stay back for a while since I had to keep my 1 month notice. We estimated that everything would be done by two weeks only. When Ronnel was in the Philippines, I got the call from BNZ and I got the job as well. Things couldn’t be sweeter. After several farewell lunches and dinners, I had to say goodbye to the great friends I had in Malaysia. I bid my last farewells to my bosses and packed my backs and headed back to my husband’s arms.

Visa processing was however not that easy. We had to go through a battery of medical exams and a series of documentations. What’s more, I had to prove that we were a real couple so I scoured for our old love letters and pictures and included those for submission to immigration. Our medical exams came back and we were told that since they had some findings, they had to send our papers to New Zealand for further review. That would be a four-week wait. After four weeks, Ronnel was asked to go for another medical test. The results had to be sent to NZ again. That would be another four weeks. Our two-week processing plans became two months. We were again blessed when our respective future employers agreed to move our start date to wait for us. We knew that the positions were immediate but they decided to wait for us. That is a real blessing. It is another indication that our bosses would be great to get along with. But we were getting frustrated just the same. It was like our dreams being just at an arm’s length but we couldn’t stretch further to reach it. When we sat down and thought about it, we realized that it was God’s way of letting us spend time with our families. I had a little sister to tend to. My father and brother probably miss me a lot. He had his family to be with. And so we did just that. I stayed with my little sister for a few days and I realized how I missed being a big sister. I took care of her when she was growing up and it brought tears to my eyes to see her as a young pretty lady. She was growing up to be a real beauty (of course, same genes, remember?). Ronnel and I also stayed a lot in his parents place. I got to spend more time with them and I realized how I missed having a whole complete family just like what I used to have years back. We also spent our time with Jack Bauer as we marathoned the entire season of 24. When we finished with Jack, we watched House, Grey’s anatomy and Korean series. Thanks to my friends at BPI, we had this constant source of entertainment to keep our frustration for the long wait at bay.

Since I submitted my visa weeks later than Ronnel, I was expecting to be approved later as well. So we thought that Ronnel had to go to NZ all by himself. It was already mid October and we were worried that our employers would lose patience waiting for us. It was Saturday, October 14, when the visa officer called. We were not home and my mother in law just relayed the message to us. Ronnel was asked to go the immigration office the following Tuesday. There was no reason given. We felt a mix of joy and fear at that point. We so hoped that it was what we’ve long been waiting for but we were also scared that the medical findings might be serious and he’ll be asked to go for another test or so. Our fears were put to rest when on Monday, Ronnel received an email from his boss. Apparently, his boss was already contacted by our visa officer and was told that Ronnel will be given a two year work visa. He can then proceed to submit his PR application upon arrival in NZ. We went to the immigration office the next day. I was happy that he was finally approved but sad at the same time since he’ll be leaving without me. I still had to wait for my visa to be approved. I told myself it was better that way since I had more time to spend with my own family. When we went to the office on Tuesday, Ronnel told the officer at the window that he was there to pick up his passport and I was there to follow up on my visa. We were surprised to see the officer hand us both our passports. This could mean only one thing. I was going with him to NZ! Ronnel kissed my forehead in glee right there and then in front of the other visa applications. It was PDA but the hell we care, we were going to NZ!!!

It was a flurry of activity for everybody in our last days in the Philippines. We only had four days left before we leave. We couldn’t make our employers wait another day longer. We owed them that much. God was with us every step of the way then. What normally takes days to process, we did in half a day. It was against my principles to use my father’s connections but we were in a dire situation so we had no choice. We had to get our Overseas Exit Clearance fast. When we arrived in POEA, there were about two hundred people about to attend the seminar. We attended this before and so we knew what to expect. We were hoping to skip the seminar and just get our OEC’s. It was another blessing that we came across a friend of my father who was working in there. She wasn’t a mere employee, she was the head and so she called the shots. She assigned a staff to assist us and in a few minutes, we had our OEC’s. Another hurdle we overcame was the availability of seats bound to NZ. Apparently, all the seats in Qantas have been booked. We wanted Qantas over PAL and other airlines since we had a chance to bring 40 kilos each of luggage. It wasn’t enough to bring all our things but it would do. The only confirmed booking was on November 2. That was too far along. We had about three travel agencies helping us with our travel arrangements. One of them confirmed the booking for Saturday, October 21 but there was a hitch, we could only bring 20 kilos each. That wouldn’t do. My perfumes and cosmetics alone were already ten kilos. We begged the travel agency officer to help us make arrangements. We were told that only migrants were allowed to bring 40 kilos each. Since we were only holding work visas (not resident visas), we only had 20 kilos. We then implored her to do the best that she could to give us that extra 20 kilos. Again, God helped us. A few hours after I spoke with our travel agent, we got the message that our 40 kilos request was granted. Life was sweet.

In the last four days, we shopped for clothes. It would be a complete wardrobe overhaul since it would be freezing in NZ if we went there with our usual sandos and shorts. Ronnel had to wear a suit to work (I can’t keep my eyes off him in a suit just like in our wedding day) and I suppose I had to wear the same thing as well. We bought shoes and thick socks to match. Everything was going as planned. It was unfortunate though that my father was leaving for a business trip on Friday and he won’t be able to send us off when we leave on Saturday. We had a farewell dinner on Thursday instead. My father, brother, sister, Ronnel and I had buffet dinner and stuffed ourselves with enough food to last the year. It was like we were also stuffing ourselves with memories to last several years. It would be a long time before we would be able to sit on a table together again. I had to say goodbye to my mother via phone only since she was also out of the country.

On Friday, we had another farewell dinner and invited both sides of the family. Ronnel’s family was so extended, it took up three tables. They were a happy bunch. I knew that I was in good hands with them. Most of my relatives were in Bicol so I only had one table to fill. We were happy, we felt how everyone was happy for us and it shone through the room.

When the day came, we couldn’t describe our feelings. We were sad that we were leaving in a hurry and that we won’t be able to be with our families anymore. I was sad that I didn’t have enough time to spend with my little sister. I hope that she reads the long letter I wrote her once in a while to remember me by. Together with Ronnel’s family, we left their home at around 2 pm. It was hours before our 8:30 pm flight but Ronnel just wanted to make sure. We had to fetch my sister, aunt and brother who wanted to send us off as well. We brought two cars to accommodate everybody. It was a good thing that we left early because we came across several obstacles. First, was our car’s tire had a minor puncture so air was coming out. It wasn’t a full flat tire yet so we could still drive to my father’s place to replace it with another car. Second, on our way to my brother, my in-laws’ car got hit by a cab. Good thing it was minor but we had to wait for a while to call in the police and report the incident. Thank God for insurance. At this point, we lost that extra hour cushion that we had. When we picked up my brother, we changed cars and so that solved the probable flat tire problem. We arrived at the terminal early and unloaded our luggage. On our way in, we were told that we were in the wrong airport. What’s that law again? Something about things are bound to go wrong once it starts going wrong.

We were now at the correct terminal. We made sure of that. When we went in, I knew that there was another thing that was bound to go wrong. I was just waiting for the shoe to drop. It dropped sooner that I thought. Our luggage was over by 21 kilos. I didn’t want to pay excess (Imagine, AUD 24 for each kilo? No way!) So we had to start unpacking and unloading stuff from our puffy ready-to-burst luggage. So imagine me with my bottom on the floor of the wide terminal lobby, with our luggage open and sprawled on the floor. Quick decisions must be made and things had to be discarded. I had to remove clothes, some cleaning items and some shoes. Good thing, my in-laws were still outside waiting for us to leave. I sprinted like I never sprinted before, running here and there to deliver things out of the airport. There was no room for embarrassment as people looked on what was happening with this husband and wife with several bags open in the middle of the terminal. After several re-weighs, we were still out by over ten kilos. Another passenger offered her help. I asked her if she could bring some of our stuff in. She said yes. Thank God. I was ashamed for a while to think that she might run away with the bag so I gave her a full plastic bag of dried mangos and sinigang mixes to bring. But it was a situation that asks for trust and so, I gave her that. She was with her husband and kids bound to Australia and so she had lots of extra kilos to spare. The battle with the luggage was finally over and so I told my in-laws that they didn’t have to expect me sprinting out of the terminal anymore with another batch of unloaded stuff. But even with our check in luggage, we still had our hand carries to worry about. Ronnel had his back pack full of documents and our beloved Magic Sing Mic. I had this humongous red bag and two more small bags. We both were wearing two jackets and it was scorching hot. I knew we looked funny but there was no time for laughter. But I think the Qantas officer found it funny so he allowed us to go in with all those stuff.

When we went in, as usual, security was strict. I was scared that they’d spot my pirated mp3’s CD’s of OPM and Taebo. Those two CD’s are the dearest to me and I couldn’t let go of them, especially since it was my brother who gave me the OPM CD. When we were about to board the plane, the other passenger who helped us with our stuff approached us. She was worried that she won’t see us anymore when we land in Sydney so she gave us the plastic bag that I asked her to bring. I thanked her profusely and chastised myself for doubting her one bit.

Finally, we were on board. It was going to be a long flight but neither of us had the energy to talk. We were too absorbed in our thoughts. We prayed the rosary for a while and went back to thinking about our future. Soon, it was Sydney, our stop over. We had to wait a few hours before our next flight to Wellington so I did what I loved to do – shop! Duty free had a promotion so I took advantage of it. My husband was in a good mood and so he indulged me. When we arrived Wellington airport, we were greeted by a wonderful surprise. The immigration officer inspecting our passports was Filipino! He asked where we’ll be working and wished us all the best. He was really friendly. Galing ng pinoy! At the customs area, we were asked to declare all food and other biological stuff we brought from the Philippines. I was worried they’d ask me about the atsuete and sinigang mix since I didn’t know what it was called in English. Good thing, they didn’t ask too much questions.

So we’re here now in our hotel room, rested and ready to hunt for apartments. Tomorrow is Ronnel’s first day at work while I will be viewing some apartments. I will start work on Monday, October 30.

With everything that has happened, we always knew that there was a divine force that guided us through all of this. I am glad I’m married to a man whose faith is deeply rooted as mine. I know going overseas is not always the answer and the way to a better future, but this is it for us. We will be spending the rest of our lives here and we will definitely make the most out of it. God lead us here for a reason. I promised Him that we’ll be active in church. We had been eyeing one of the churches here and we plan to check it out soon. It’s a small price to pay for everything that we have received so far. I know that our journey doesn’t end here. We plan to start a family soon, buy a house, a car, not in that order, of course.

To those who wish to follow the same path we’ve chosen, I cannot guarantee you’ll end up where we are now. Note that everything that has happened to us caught us by surprise as well. It was all a combination of hard work, sheer luck and prayers. And always believe in karma or that golden rule where you do not do unto others yada yada. That’s one thing my husband and I have in common (despite all our differences) and I admire him more for that. In times where we are tempted to do something wrong, he always tells me to ask ourselves, “Is it worth selling our soul to the devil?” It may sound trite but this has helped us veer away from serious stuff. We are not sinless of course, especially me. I have had several enemies along the way, too many to count and because of my husband, I learned to be more tolerant and understanding of others. I am glad that I had made peace with my last sort-of enemy. We will never be good friends anymore but at least we were able to smile at each other again. It is one thorn plucked from my heart and I can sleep better at night. Okay, enough of this. I’m beginning to preach when I have no right to do so. So there you go, that’s the whole story of our journey to this land of the kiwis. We were able to achieve our goal and I hope that God blesses you the same way. 



Just R&R

April 2006

Tonight, I’d like you to close your eyes. Imagine that you are inside your dream house. It could be the two-storey house that you’ve always dreamt of as a child. Or that wide space condo unit that you’ve wanted to have. It could be homey, with the scent of family and newly-baked cookies. Or it could be that high tech posh space with Plasma TV and high-end technology. It’s your choice. It’s your dream house. You go to the living room and admire your surroundings. You go to the kitchen and see a bounty of food prepared to satiate your hunger. And then you go decide to go outside to breathe some fresh air, you open the door. Now, kindly open your eyes. You open your eyes and you see this. (show picture of mountainous garbage) This is what’s outside your dream house--- a mountainous collection of garbage. The stench will mingle with the flavorful smell of your food. The stinky liquid will seep into your front door and creep into your living room. Soon, it will be crawling into your house as the volume increases and your dream house transforms into a nightmare. Dramatic isn’t it? But it can happen, you know. And it has happened. Real people have woken up next to wastelands. You could be next. So what can we do prevent this? What else, but RECYCLE! Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. Too corny. Too much effort. Too stressful. Not really. You don’t need to go to extremes and make your own compost pit or re-use toilet paper. What I’m going to give you are simple tips in recycling that even your 6-year brother or sister can easily follow. There are two ways of recycling --- R & R. One is to re-sell and the other is re-use. Let’s talk about what items you can re-sell. Resell, because the item is sold once and you’re selling it again, although it’s not at its orginal state. Well, when you look at your own place, there could be a lot of things to sell – old newspapers, magazines and bottles. There are shops that buy broken appliances. When you sell, you not only help reduce the garbage but you earn money too. If you feel generous, you can go the extra mile and donate your old clothes, shoes or bags to Salvation Army or any charitable organization. I believe there are lots of old folk’s homes here. So what happens to these items when you sell them? They are refurbished to make it into something useful again. Empty glass bottles and jars can be recycled to make things like decorative paving and aggregate for asphalt or swimming pool filters, as well as new glass jars and bottles. Newspapers are recycled into paperboard, new newsprint, insulation and animal bedding products. Empty aluminium drink cans are sent overseas for recycling and can be recycled again and again. Recycled aluminium cans are sorted, crushed and baled into "bricks" for transporting. These bricks are fed into a hot furnace where the aluminium melts and the melted aluminium is then cast into smaller ingots which are processed into new aluminium cans. Steel cans that have contained anything from baked beans to fruit cocktail, pet food or soup can be recycled to make new cars and bridges The other way to recycle is to re-use these items yourself. In the office, when you print, try printing front and back. If it cant be help, you can use the unprinted back portion for scribbling notes. You can be a little creative and turn it into a new notebook. When you order dinner, you can wash and re-use the plastic containers for your take away food. When shopping, you will have several plastic bags. If you can use just one big bag, do so. Otherwise, keep all the plastic bags and use as to cover your rubbish bins. I will show you an easy way of folding your plastic bags so that you can keep them in an orderly manner. First, flatten the bag. Fold it in half lengthwise. Fold it again. Then fold the edge into a small triangle until it reaches the edge. Then clip the last fold so that it won’t get lose. There, just like that. Now, you know how to fold your shopping bags. It just takes less than one minute! Following either of the two ways to recycle is your choice. It’s simple to remember… To recycle, just R and R.. Resell or Re- use. You can follow choose to re-sell or re-use. It could even be your choice to continue with your wasteful ways and opt not recycle. But I tell you, don’t blame me, if one day, you open the door of your house and a pile of garbage come rolling down to your face. Your dream house can really turn into a nightmare. So better do something about it now, before it’s too late…

Confessions of a Shopaholic

March 2006

Do you feel your heart beat faster when you see this 4-letter word plastered on shop windows? Do you feel nauseous around October during the nationwide Mega sale? Then, be prepared. You might be suffering from the same disease that I have. The clinical term for this disease is Compulsive Shopping Addiction or Shopaholism and the one who has acquired this disease is called a “Shopaholic”. Yes, I am a Shopaholic. I am at a stage where I am battling with this disease and hopefully, eventually, be cured of it. But first, how do you know if you are a Shopaholic? There are several criteria in determining if you have Shopaholism. In the US, patients undergo several interviews and even go through hypnosis to determine what stage in the disease. Basically, there are the 10 questions that you must ask yourself. 1 or 2 Yeses are still acceptable for a normal shopper. 3–5 is already a case of mild Shopaholism. 6 onwards is a cause for alarm.

1. Do you shop when you are upset or depressed?

2. Do you buy things you don’t really need?

3. Do you have multiple credit cards with high outstanding amounts?

4. Do you feel excited when shopping, but depressed or anxious at a later point.

5. Do you have many unopened and unused items at home?

6. Do you lie about the amount of money you have spent?

7. Do you continue to shop even if you are in debt?

8. Have your shopping sprees caused issues in your relationships?

9. Do you think often about money and shopping?

10. Do you feel that your shopping has become out of control?

I took the test myself and found that I have answered Yes to 4 questions. Sadly and reluctantly, I have to accept that I am inflicted with this disease. I only discovered that I had this disease when I came across Sophie Kinsella’s novel, Confessions of a Shopaholic. I related so much with the character that I began to reflect on whether I had the same problem. It bothered me so much so I logged on the Internet to search on Shopaholism. Never did I expect to find such information! A group of doctors from Stanford University is doing a study on how many are suffering from this disease. Shopaholism is clinically defined as a psychological disease "motivated by 'irresistible' impulses, characterized by spending that is excessive and inappropriate, has harmful consequences for the individual, and tends to be chronic and stereotyped." Compulsive shoppers "binge buy" -- most often clothes, shoes, makeup, and jewelry -- and then suffer intense guilt. That, in turn, helps trigger another frenzied trip to the mall, and the cycle continues. The study came up with the statistics that one out of 20 is suffering from this disease. You might think that it only afflicts women, but no, there are several reported cases of men Shopaholics. If women concentrate on clothes, shoes, jewelries and fashion accessories, men shopaholics tend to buy CD’s, car accessories, electronics and other gadgets. But you may ask, so what if I am a Shopaholic? As long as I have money to buy, then it’s my problem right? I tell you, it’s not as simple as that. There was a time that I had to think of side businesses to keep up with my shopping habits. It brought out the entrepreneur in me but I was stressed out. There have also been reported cases of broken marriages due to Shopaholism. One patient got fired from her job because she spent most of her time doing online shopping. There are other people who neglect their children and park them in the mall constantly because that is what they need to feed their habit. In my case, our marriage was threatened by this compulsion. My husband often scolded me before for shopping too much. There’s this formula that I use when he asks me about how much I spent shopping. It’s the Actual Price divided by two times the current inflation rate. Let’s just say that the price is sheer fiction. Even now, I am occupying 2/3 of the whole kitchen since I had lots of supply. Some ingredients are near expiration date, as I never get to use them. There was a time I had a compulsion to shop for matching items. I wanted to follow the Matching Principle, you see. It means my blouse should match my pants and my bag should match the color of my belt and shoes. When I was in the Philippines, I had a whole cupboard full of matching items and it was a dilemma for me on how to bring everything here. I ended up having excess baggage. Studies are still being done to find out the root cause of this disease. Some say it is triggered by depression. Some say it is due to environment we live in. For me, I think it is hereditary. My mom is an even worse Shopaholic than I am. When she buys clothes, she buys 5 of the same item in different colors. When I was little, we went grocery shopping every week—and we buy the same items every time. No wonder, at one time, we had 20 cans of sardines and 10 bags of sugar. I grew up in that environment, thinking that buying like that was normal. It is only now that I realize that it is a problem. My mom is now facing some financial problems as her income has not been able to cope with her spending. I am scared that I might face the same problem one day. When she had to part with her belongings, she was able to raise a big amount of money. She was able to fill up a whole warehouse with her belongings. I realize that I don’t want to reach that kind of stage someday, where I have to part with my wonderful things because I am broke. So what should we Shopaholics do to be cured of this disease?

Well, there are some simple steps to follow:

(1) Get rid of your credit cards, checkbooks, and ATM cards before you go shopping. Use only cash.

(2) If you spot something that you would like to purchase, never allow yourself to purchase it on the spot. Instead, walk away and give yourself a “mandatory waiting period” (or if you must-- ask the store to hold it for you. Most stores will hold items for their customers for at least a day). If you still want the item in a few days, then you can go back and make your thought-out purchase.

(3) Make a budget and put it on paper. Give yourself some “mad money” for each month, and do not allow yourself to purchase anything that is not in the budget.

(4) Write down everything you purchase for two weeks; groceries, gas for your car, the electric bill, and even that candy bar from the vending machine! This will make your more conscience of where your hard-earned dollars are going. Being more aware of your spending will also make your more in control.

(5) If you are overwhelmed with debt, contact a credit-counseling agency. There are several non-profit organizations whose goal is to get your out of debt. They will help you consolidate your bills into a smaller monthly payment, and get your credit report in good standing once more.

If you are suffering from a serious case, then you can go to a doctor and he might prescribe you with inhibitor drugs such as Prozac. Yes, there are even drugs for this disease now. It is that serious. So, are you going to be the next Imelda Marcos with her 3,000 pairs of shoes or Princess Diana with her large collection of clothes? Have you even admitted to yourself that you are a potential Shopaholic? Decide now before it’s too late…

It Matters

March 2006

Have you ever felt insignificant in your life? Ever had the feeling that you don’t exist? That what you do doesn’t matter at all? Don’t fret. Everybody has felt this at one point in his life. As a human being, it is in our nature to toil with thoughts of insignificance throughout life. I had the same thoughts when I joined Scope a year ago. I had no friends. I knew nobody. And I was stationed in Menara Axis where there were no Filipinos at all. My work didn’t make me feel any better. I was working as a temporary administrator – which is just another word for a gofer. Go for this. Go for that. Email this. Email that. I was working as that because I had no choice. I had to or my husband and I would have nothing to eat – literally. It was the time when he got into an accident and he had to stop work and depend on me for a while. I felt so insignificant, so small since I couldn’t do anything more. My CV didn’t matter anymore. It didn’t matter that I was a Project Manager in my previous company or that I used to negotiate deals with executives from foreign banks. I could step no further. I was given this simple job and I had to do it right. But oh, I felt so small. I felt depressed. I had so little things to do then. I finished doing all those administrative tasks and don’t have anything to do so I surfed the Internet and came across this story. It was a story that changed my view on lowly jobs. It goes like this: One day the different parts of the body were having an argument about which should be in charge. The brain said "I do all the thinking so I'm the most important and I should be in charge." The eyes said "I see everything and let the rest of you know where we are, so I'm the most important and I should be in charge." The hands said "Without me we wouldn't be able to pick anything up or move anything. So I'm the most important and I should be in charge." The stomach said "I turn the food we eat into energy for the rest of you. Without me, we'd starve. So I'm the most important and I should be in charge." The legs said "Without me we wouldn't be able to move anywhere. So I'm the most important and I should be in charge." Then the rectum, or that little hole in the ass, said, "I think I should be in charge." All the rest of the parts said "YOU?!? You don't do anything! You're not important! You can't be in charge." So the rectum closed up. After a few days, the legs were all wobbly, the stomach was all queasy, the hands were all shaky, the eyes were all watery, and the brain was all cloudy. They all agreed that they couldn't take any more of this and agreed to put the rectum in charge. The moral of the story? There’s no such thing as an insignificant role. Everybody has a part to play in this grand thing we call life. I looked at my job differently then. So what if I did nothing from 9 to 6 but forward emails? So what? It was still a job that was delegated to me and I had to do my best. I believe that outlook has paved the way for where I am now. My supervisor then saw my potential and recommended me to RLS. In RLS, I also started that way. I did nothing but log problems, do minutes of meeting and attendance. It didn’t matter to me. It was a job that I have to do and I had to give my best. I didn’t think much of the fact that I was underemployed and underpaid. I was still in a stage that I had to prove myself to them. This year, they had renewed me and gave me more responsibility. I believe I have garnered their trust and confidence—enough for them to make me RLS’ sole business analyst. I have made friends within the team. I had made friends with other Filipinos as well. I can proudly say I don’t feel I’m insignificant now. But I would have never reached this place if I had dwelt on my feeling of insecurities and insignificance a year ago. This is what I want to share with you all. It is alright to feel insignificant, it is natural, even. But what is not right, is to let this affect how you work and how you deal with others. Honestly, I still have these feelings sometimes. It is a fact that I am a businessperson trying to survive in the world of programmers. But so what? So what if like the ass hole, we do the dirty stuff? Do you think we will survive if our cleaning ladies didn’t attend to our toilets? How do you think the city will survive without the garbage collectors and septic tank companies? Just think about this. No matter what kind of work you do. It matters. It really does.