Tuesday, July 14, 2009
I'm officially a Christian! Amen.
I was officially welcomed to the Christian world last Sunday, 12th of July. As usual, I was DTW (Dead To the World) throughout the whole ceremony. I'm used to bathing so I didn't even stir when Father Peter poured holy water on me thrice. I'll share the video coverage of the ceremony next time. In the meantime, the photos of my Christening are here.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Grizzling Aqui
Here's the fruit of our (EingeNelAqui) hard work in sleep training. It's not perfect yet but we're so proud of how Aqui can sleep on her own without the need to be rocked or fed. :-)
Thursday, July 9, 2009
The Kinoy Way
Aqui has been dominating my blog for a while so it's time I make a comeback. This time I'll be sharing with you my dilemma on raising a Filipino child the Kiwi way. In ante-natal class, it was mentioned that the main difference of caring for a baby in a first world country versus a third world country is how often they are held. In 1st world countries, babies are trained to settle on their own and not cuddled or carried most of the time. In 3rd world countries, babies are in the arms of the mum or somebody else almost all the time even when they are sleeping. I am a mum from a 3rd world country raising a baby in a 1st world country, hence, I'm faced with the dilemma on which way is the better one for Aqui. It doesn’t stop there, there are lots of things that are quite different and let's get the verdict on each.
From Birth
The Kiwi Way
Immediately after the baby comes out, she is given to the mum for skin contact. I remember holding her amidst all the goo and blood. Ronnel had a chance to hold her as well before she was whisked away to undergo the Apgar test.
The Pinoy Way
Babies are immediately sent to the nursery and the dad's first glimpse of baby is through a glass window. I remember when my youngest sister was born and my dad and I were looking through the window, searching for the right baby to look at.
The Verdict: Kiwi Way wins. I guess that's why you wont hear much of baby switching here unlike in the Phils where it's the theme of most soap operas.
The First Night
The Kiwi Way
If it wasnt for Aqui's blood sugar monitoring requirements, she would have been in the room with me. Tin, a friend of mine who recently gave birth had her baby room in her on the first night and she recalled a time when Neon was crying and was hungry but she had no idea on what to do and had to wait for the nurse. Here, no visitors are allowed to sleep over at the hospital, yep, even the husband. I remember on the second night when Aqui was with me how frustrated I was because we were still both learning to breastfeed. I was exhausted when morning came and was really looking forward to Ronnel coming back.
The Pinoy Way
In the Philippines, the whole family can room in with you. I'm not sure if they put in a limit now but when my sister was born, we all slept in my mum's room, awaiting every moment the nurse brings in my little sister from the nursery.
The Verdict: I'm leaning towards the Pinoy Way, remembering how exhausted I was at nights with Aqui, especially since I had a C-section. I had to get up from bed and pick her up to feed her several times and thank God for the pain relievers, I couldn't feel a thing.
Handling With Care
The Kiwi Way
Here, babies are treated normally rather than like a fragile object. When I first saw how Aqui was being handled by the midwives, I almost gasped in horror. It's not that they manhandled her but it's just very different from how nurses back home handle babies. Her tiny arms are being stretched as if the were of a ten year old. Once, a nurse, shoved Aqui's face onto my breast to force her to feed. I also saw a mum patting her baby's back so hard, you'd think the baby's head will come off.
The Pinoy Way
There, we treat newborns with the utmost care possible. The cradle hold is the only way to hold a baby and you have to be very gentle especially with the arms and legs because the bones aren't formed yet, they say. I remember I couldn't hold my sister yet in the first few days and when I eventually did, I felt like a hundred eyes were looking at me.
The Verdict: Although it takes time getting used to, I prefer the Kiwi way. Doctors say that babies survive the most traumatic thing that could ever happen to them by going through delivery, squished and prodded, so there is no need for special handling. Of course, there is still the need to hold them carefully. As for the soft spot, the “fontanelle” or in Filipino, the “bumbunan”, I’m quoting this from a book they gave me here, “It is not delicate, painful nor dangerous to touch. The brain beneath it is well protected by a tough fibrous covering…. As for the head, there’s no chance that it will dislocate or fall off.” This was a revelation to me and it changed a lot of how I view baby-handling.
When we went to the doctor, I was advised to have lots of tummy time for her. This was unheard of in the Philippines. Newborns are supposed to be always on their backs because they cant support their heads yet and they might suffocate when put on their tummies. Here, they purposely put them on their tummies so that the neck muscles develop. Stretching and massaging of the arms and legs are encouraged for bone and muscle development (thus, our JaiHo dance). I was skeptical of this but I followed doctor’s advice and did tummy time for at least 5 minutes a day and see in the picture below how Aqui can now lift her head up!
The Nursing
The Kiwi Way
I didn’t know that breastfeeding was this challenging. I thought it was going to be a natural thing for me and baby but it took us some time to get into it. Here, they teach you the right way of nursing. They even have full day breastfeeding classes and lactation consultants. I had a hard time developing this skill and although I loved the feeling of oneness that I have with Aqui during nursing sessions, I hated the pain it caused my poor breasts. A lactation consultant came to see me and watch me feed and gave me advice. According to her, breastfeeding should be pain-free and a wonderful experience. We are getting better at it now. There is less pain and I’m sure with more practice, we’ll perfect the technique.
The Pinoy Way
I’m not sure how breastfeeding is taught in the Philippines but I think it’s taught by the mother to the nursing daughter. Unfortunately for me, I don’t have my mum or mother-in-law here so I have to rely on support from the nurse or consultant. I guess it’s true when they say it takes a village to raise a child. I remember Ronnel telling me a month after I gave birth, “Kaya naman pala natin tayo lang e.” (Roughly translated: See? We can do it even with just us two here.) This is his way of allaying my fears of not having the capability of caring for Aqui especially in the first few weeks. I desperately wanted to have family support here, even to the point of wanting to ask my mom to drop her job in the US for a while to accompany me here. But Ronnel kept assuring me that we will survive and we did. It was no easy task though but once again, it strengthened the EingeNel tandem.
The Verdict: Seems like the Kiwi Way wins.
Sleepytime
The Kiwi Way
Plunket (a child health service provider here in NZ) lent me a DVD to watch on how to put babies to sleep. In the DVD, it says babies must be left alone to settle themselves to sleep. They gave tips on how to check if baby is sleepy and tired. (1) Rubbing eyes (2)Yawning (3) Staring into space and (4) Grizzling The last one is the hardest one because this is what you’ll see most of the time. Grizzling is the act of crying on and off and you’ll hear this a lot when you leave your baby alone to settle. They encourage you to leave the room so that you won't hear your baby crying.
Aqui usually sleeps during feeding time and I was gently told off by the lactation consultant about this. According to her, feeding and sleeping must be disassociated. I have to wake her up everytime she falls asleep while feeding. This was very heart-wrenching for me and I battled with myself every time I did it, thinking “What harm would it to Aqui if I just leave her there sleeping?” But I thought that there was no harm in trying as well. So I did it. It was days of training her the pattern and even now, we’re still training her to understand that feeding and sleeping are two different things. So we follow the pattern “Feed – Change Nappy – Play / JaiHo time – Sleep”. It is hard work especially when it comes to sleeping time and I put her down to sleep. Every cry she makes tugs my heart and makes me feel I’m a bad mother.
The Pinoy Way
In the Philippines, babies are left to sleep in the warmth of the mum’s arms (or somebody else’s). I remember putting my little sister to sleep by rocking her to the song of “Kailan”. I couldn’t put her down or she’d wail and the neighbors will throw rocks at our window (well, not really but they’d complain of the noise.) That is why we need the whole village for a baby, one pair of arms is not enough for a wailing sleepy babe.
The Verdict: I’m still torn between the two so I’m mixing both. In the morning or as much as I can, I use the sleepytime method and I leave her to sleep on her own without rocking or feeding her. At night (when Ronnel needs uninterrupted sleep for work the next day), I nurse and rock her to sleep. She’s settling better now. Her wails are getting shorter and shorter and she falls asleep on her own most of the time.
Aqui Settling Herself
Playtime
The Kiwi Way
Here, playtime is a lot physical which meant straining almost all parts of the body. Two years ago when we first came here, we saw a 4-year old child in the park rolling on a hill while the dad looks on while another child climbs up the ladder of a slide without supervision. I was horrified that this was the norm here. Now, I understand what that was all about. Children are left to discover things on their own – of course in a safe manner. Liway, the daughter of friends of ours, has scrapes all over her face every time we see her and before, I really didn’t understand this but now, I see that it’s all for her own good. I think Kiwis train their children this way in preparation for an All Blacks audition.
The Pinoy Way
In the Philippines, every little bit of a child’s step is supervised by the parents. You’d see a mom speeding so fast if a child stumbles. We smother them with our love and care. I guess this way works in the Philippines because it is indeed scary outdoors with all the crazy speeding drivers and kidnappers.
The Verdict: I’m for the Kiwi way here. I like how Liway is tough and doesn’t cry on every fall and how she picks herself up. This shows faith - that her parents are there when she needs them the most and confidence - that she can handle things her own.
So there you go. I’ve shared my dilemma with you and I guess just by doing this, I’ve solved the dilemma a bit. I don’t feel as torn as before and you (Kiwi or Pinoy) will be able to understand me now if Aqui and I do things differently from the way you’re used to. Also, it seems that we are adapting more Kiwi ways than Pinoy ways and I guess that’s understandable because we will be here for quite a while. As they say, when in Rome, do as the Romans do. But ofcourse, we still pick up from the Philippines what we believe is good for Aqui. We still want the best of both worlds for her.
From Birth
The Kiwi Way
Immediately after the baby comes out, she is given to the mum for skin contact. I remember holding her amidst all the goo and blood. Ronnel had a chance to hold her as well before she was whisked away to undergo the Apgar test.
The Pinoy Way
Babies are immediately sent to the nursery and the dad's first glimpse of baby is through a glass window. I remember when my youngest sister was born and my dad and I were looking through the window, searching for the right baby to look at.
The Verdict: Kiwi Way wins. I guess that's why you wont hear much of baby switching here unlike in the Phils where it's the theme of most soap operas.
The First Night
The Kiwi Way
If it wasnt for Aqui's blood sugar monitoring requirements, she would have been in the room with me. Tin, a friend of mine who recently gave birth had her baby room in her on the first night and she recalled a time when Neon was crying and was hungry but she had no idea on what to do and had to wait for the nurse. Here, no visitors are allowed to sleep over at the hospital, yep, even the husband. I remember on the second night when Aqui was with me how frustrated I was because we were still both learning to breastfeed. I was exhausted when morning came and was really looking forward to Ronnel coming back.
The Pinoy Way
In the Philippines, the whole family can room in with you. I'm not sure if they put in a limit now but when my sister was born, we all slept in my mum's room, awaiting every moment the nurse brings in my little sister from the nursery.
The Verdict: I'm leaning towards the Pinoy Way, remembering how exhausted I was at nights with Aqui, especially since I had a C-section. I had to get up from bed and pick her up to feed her several times and thank God for the pain relievers, I couldn't feel a thing.
Handling With Care
The Kiwi Way
Here, babies are treated normally rather than like a fragile object. When I first saw how Aqui was being handled by the midwives, I almost gasped in horror. It's not that they manhandled her but it's just very different from how nurses back home handle babies. Her tiny arms are being stretched as if the were of a ten year old. Once, a nurse, shoved Aqui's face onto my breast to force her to feed. I also saw a mum patting her baby's back so hard, you'd think the baby's head will come off.
The Pinoy Way
There, we treat newborns with the utmost care possible. The cradle hold is the only way to hold a baby and you have to be very gentle especially with the arms and legs because the bones aren't formed yet, they say. I remember I couldn't hold my sister yet in the first few days and when I eventually did, I felt like a hundred eyes were looking at me.
The Verdict: Although it takes time getting used to, I prefer the Kiwi way. Doctors say that babies survive the most traumatic thing that could ever happen to them by going through delivery, squished and prodded, so there is no need for special handling. Of course, there is still the need to hold them carefully. As for the soft spot, the “fontanelle” or in Filipino, the “bumbunan”, I’m quoting this from a book they gave me here, “It is not delicate, painful nor dangerous to touch. The brain beneath it is well protected by a tough fibrous covering…. As for the head, there’s no chance that it will dislocate or fall off.” This was a revelation to me and it changed a lot of how I view baby-handling.
When we went to the doctor, I was advised to have lots of tummy time for her. This was unheard of in the Philippines. Newborns are supposed to be always on their backs because they cant support their heads yet and they might suffocate when put on their tummies. Here, they purposely put them on their tummies so that the neck muscles develop. Stretching and massaging of the arms and legs are encouraged for bone and muscle development (thus, our JaiHo dance). I was skeptical of this but I followed doctor’s advice and did tummy time for at least 5 minutes a day and see in the picture below how Aqui can now lift her head up!
The Nursing
The Kiwi Way
I didn’t know that breastfeeding was this challenging. I thought it was going to be a natural thing for me and baby but it took us some time to get into it. Here, they teach you the right way of nursing. They even have full day breastfeeding classes and lactation consultants. I had a hard time developing this skill and although I loved the feeling of oneness that I have with Aqui during nursing sessions, I hated the pain it caused my poor breasts. A lactation consultant came to see me and watch me feed and gave me advice. According to her, breastfeeding should be pain-free and a wonderful experience. We are getting better at it now. There is less pain and I’m sure with more practice, we’ll perfect the technique.
The Pinoy Way
I’m not sure how breastfeeding is taught in the Philippines but I think it’s taught by the mother to the nursing daughter. Unfortunately for me, I don’t have my mum or mother-in-law here so I have to rely on support from the nurse or consultant. I guess it’s true when they say it takes a village to raise a child. I remember Ronnel telling me a month after I gave birth, “Kaya naman pala natin tayo lang e.” (Roughly translated: See? We can do it even with just us two here.) This is his way of allaying my fears of not having the capability of caring for Aqui especially in the first few weeks. I desperately wanted to have family support here, even to the point of wanting to ask my mom to drop her job in the US for a while to accompany me here. But Ronnel kept assuring me that we will survive and we did. It was no easy task though but once again, it strengthened the EingeNel tandem.
The Verdict: Seems like the Kiwi Way wins.
Sleepytime
The Kiwi Way
Plunket (a child health service provider here in NZ) lent me a DVD to watch on how to put babies to sleep. In the DVD, it says babies must be left alone to settle themselves to sleep. They gave tips on how to check if baby is sleepy and tired. (1) Rubbing eyes (2)Yawning (3) Staring into space and (4) Grizzling The last one is the hardest one because this is what you’ll see most of the time. Grizzling is the act of crying on and off and you’ll hear this a lot when you leave your baby alone to settle. They encourage you to leave the room so that you won't hear your baby crying.
Aqui usually sleeps during feeding time and I was gently told off by the lactation consultant about this. According to her, feeding and sleeping must be disassociated. I have to wake her up everytime she falls asleep while feeding. This was very heart-wrenching for me and I battled with myself every time I did it, thinking “What harm would it to Aqui if I just leave her there sleeping?” But I thought that there was no harm in trying as well. So I did it. It was days of training her the pattern and even now, we’re still training her to understand that feeding and sleeping are two different things. So we follow the pattern “Feed – Change Nappy – Play / JaiHo time – Sleep”. It is hard work especially when it comes to sleeping time and I put her down to sleep. Every cry she makes tugs my heart and makes me feel I’m a bad mother.
The Pinoy Way
In the Philippines, babies are left to sleep in the warmth of the mum’s arms (or somebody else’s). I remember putting my little sister to sleep by rocking her to the song of “Kailan”. I couldn’t put her down or she’d wail and the neighbors will throw rocks at our window (well, not really but they’d complain of the noise.) That is why we need the whole village for a baby, one pair of arms is not enough for a wailing sleepy babe.
The Verdict: I’m still torn between the two so I’m mixing both. In the morning or as much as I can, I use the sleepytime method and I leave her to sleep on her own without rocking or feeding her. At night (when Ronnel needs uninterrupted sleep for work the next day), I nurse and rock her to sleep. She’s settling better now. Her wails are getting shorter and shorter and she falls asleep on her own most of the time.
Aqui Settling Herself
Playtime
The Kiwi Way
Here, playtime is a lot physical which meant straining almost all parts of the body. Two years ago when we first came here, we saw a 4-year old child in the park rolling on a hill while the dad looks on while another child climbs up the ladder of a slide without supervision. I was horrified that this was the norm here. Now, I understand what that was all about. Children are left to discover things on their own – of course in a safe manner. Liway, the daughter of friends of ours, has scrapes all over her face every time we see her and before, I really didn’t understand this but now, I see that it’s all for her own good. I think Kiwis train their children this way in preparation for an All Blacks audition.
The Pinoy Way
In the Philippines, every little bit of a child’s step is supervised by the parents. You’d see a mom speeding so fast if a child stumbles. We smother them with our love and care. I guess this way works in the Philippines because it is indeed scary outdoors with all the crazy speeding drivers and kidnappers.
The Verdict: I’m for the Kiwi way here. I like how Liway is tough and doesn’t cry on every fall and how she picks herself up. This shows faith - that her parents are there when she needs them the most and confidence - that she can handle things her own.
So there you go. I’ve shared my dilemma with you and I guess just by doing this, I’ve solved the dilemma a bit. I don’t feel as torn as before and you (Kiwi or Pinoy) will be able to understand me now if Aqui and I do things differently from the way you’re used to. Also, it seems that we are adapting more Kiwi ways than Pinoy ways and I guess that’s understandable because we will be here for quite a while. As they say, when in Rome, do as the Romans do. But ofcourse, we still pick up from the Philippines what we believe is good for Aqui. We still want the best of both worlds for her.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Jai Ho Daddy!
I'm in the process of creating a video for Aqui's christening and here's a part of it... Watch out for the full video soon. :-)
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Growing, growing, gone!
by Aqui again...
Heavyweight
Hello all! Here I am back again with heavy news -- yup, I'm getting bigger. Yesterday, a nurse from Plunket came to visit and check up on me. I was dozing off during my tummy time and I didnt like that they woke me up just to weigh me. That explains why I'm so grumpy in these photos. But see how big I am now -- from 2.9kg to 4.17 in just 6 weeks!
Welcome to the world, Neon Gabrio.
I met a new friend (again!). They keep teasing us that we were MFEO (made for each other) just because we weighed the same when we were delivered. Plus, he kept on looking at me when I came for a visit. I can't help it though, I'm just too pretty.
Friends Get-Together (Again!)
Seems like all the babies are growing and growing. Here we all are and yeah, I'm sleeping (again!). At least I'm not alone in dreamland, Caitlyn, who's beside me is with me in la-la land too.
And finally, I'm awake! Remember these babies?
Heavyweight
Hello all! Here I am back again with heavy news -- yup, I'm getting bigger. Yesterday, a nurse from Plunket came to visit and check up on me. I was dozing off during my tummy time and I didnt like that they woke me up just to weigh me. That explains why I'm so grumpy in these photos. But see how big I am now -- from 2.9kg to 4.17 in just 6 weeks!
Welcome to the world, Neon Gabrio.
I met a new friend (again!). They keep teasing us that we were MFEO (made for each other) just because we weighed the same when we were delivered. Plus, he kept on looking at me when I came for a visit. I can't help it though, I'm just too pretty.
Friends Get-Together (Again!)
Seems like all the babies are growing and growing. Here we all are and yeah, I'm sleeping (again!). At least I'm not alone in dreamland, Caitlyn, who's beside me is with me in la-la land too.
And finally, I'm awake! Remember these babies?
Monday, June 15, 2009
I'm 1 month old! Yay!
Time flies so fast, doesn't it? It seems like yesterday that I was just swimming and kicking inside my mummy's tummy. And now, I'm celebrating my one month in this world. Soon, I'll be going to kindy, get married, travel the world, be the president of the Philippines... not in that order of course.
Last Friday, I got more visitors and met new friends, Kathlyn, Jimmy and Patrick. I couldnt (yet) run around with Kathlyn and Jimmy but it was fun to watch them horsing around.
On Saturday, Daddy and Tito Romil had to give in to their itch to play NBA -- and they played 7 games straight! Daddy won most of the games though. haha.
On my 1st month, we started the day by attending mass and received blessing from Fr. Peter. Then, we had an impromptu lunch out at Good World, the yummiest yum char restaurant here in Wellington IMHO. I'm still waiting for the pictures from Tita Concep.
In the afternoon, we had my favourite cake (actually, it's Daddy's fave, not mine) and shared this with Ninang (to-be) Laiz and Tito Romil. Tito Romil and Daddy played a bit of NBA and Fight Night (again!!)
Today, mummy was ecstatic to find out her patience in joining online contests is paying off. She's been receiving free stuff in the mail recently and I'd like to think I'm her lucky charm. Her Arrozcaldo recipe (renamed Asian Soupy Risotto) was even selected for this month's Huggies Featured Recipe! Click here to view the recipe in the Huggies website.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Aqui Hip and Happening
Meeting Other Bubs Again
I met with the other babies (& mums) again. This time, we were able to take photos of everybody. Too bad the girls were outnumbered by the boys.
Here's all of us..
Pauleen (AnteNatal Class Facilitator) and me
My Midwife's last visit
Starting next week, Plunket will be looking after me instead of the Midwife Shared Services. So we took a picture so that we won't forget each other.
And here I am doing my morning ritual... get ready for some toilet humour.
Watch Aqui's Morning Ritual in Family | View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com
Oh and thanks to those who've participated in the poll. Daddy's ecstatic that he's leading the poll. There's still several days left so Mommy hasn't lost hope yet.
I met with the other babies (& mums) again. This time, we were able to take photos of everybody. Too bad the girls were outnumbered by the boys.
Here's all of us..
Pauleen (AnteNatal Class Facilitator) and me
My Midwife's last visit
Starting next week, Plunket will be looking after me instead of the Midwife Shared Services. So we took a picture so that we won't forget each other.
And here I am doing my morning ritual... get ready for some toilet humour.
Watch Aqui's Morning Ritual in Family | View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com
Oh and thanks to those who've participated in the poll. Daddy's ecstatic that he's leading the poll. There's still several days left so Mommy hasn't lost hope yet.
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