With Aqui, it was a breeze. Sure, there were some complications too as I had gestational diabetes but that was manageable. We had ample time to prepare as first time parents. We attended ante-natal classes, joined a coffee group, read up parenting books and we knew we were ready when she came. I even had time to tidy up the house (Ronnel called it sterilising it with my OC behaviour), prepare frozen meals (yup, a month's supply!) and was just waiting for the day of my induced labour.
It was a whole different ball game with baby number two. First, she was twice as active as Aqui in my tummy. Second, my gestational diabetes didn't come up as an issue until the latest month so I thought I'd be safe. Third, she had an unpredictable streak and gave me contractions as early as the 28th week.
On my 32nd week, I was officially handed over to the hospital specialists for complications and I had to say goodbye to my midwife. It made me a bit sad as I enjoyed being looked after by her and we developed a certain rapport. But the baby's health is a priority so we had no choice. As the days went by, the contractions got more frequent and my blood sugar levels went higher and after a week, I was injecting two types of insulin six times a day. The hospital deemed me unfit for work and I filed the remaining two weeks at work as sick leave. It was a swift farewell to my old and new teammates at work but it was the last thing on my mind. I welcomed the idea of an extra two weeks of rest and preparation. I printed to-do lists and day-by-day schedules for me to prepare just like I did with Aqui. But my efforts were futile.
On Saturday, 17 Sept, 5am, the day after my last day at work, I found myself leaking. At first, I thought I just had a wee accident but with the sheer amount of water gushing out, I suspected it was something else. My waters never broke with Aqui so I didn't have a prior experience for comparison. I quickly woke up Ronnel at the same time looked up Google. Ronnel told me off for relying on the web and my penchant for self-diagnosis and straight told me to call the hospital. I just hate the thought of being wrong - what if it was just really incontinence? But I was glad I took my husband's advice.
In that same morning we were admitted in the hospital. It was confirmed that my waters have ruptured and there were multiple contractions happening. Aqui was a great sport, she looked confused but she knew something was going on. The next day, I was hooked up like a drug momma with IV's on both my wrists and injections all over my body. The doctors decided to deliver baby on Wednesday via a c-section.
Times like these, I can't help but wish that we were not so far away from our family. Thanks to the wonders of texting and Facebook updates, they know what's happening. On the other hand, this also makes us feel so blessed to be surrounded by friends who care for us and support us. We've received numerous offers of help to look after Aqui. Aqui has settled quite well with the Baloyos as she found her BFF of the month Keisha. Thanks Arnel and Doyeth for looking after her. We're also overwhelmed with the support from our Couples for Christ community, for the prayers, words of support and ofcourse, the overflowing food - a friend even organised a roster of food delivery for Ronnel and Aqui. Everybody knows Ronnel's domain is not the kitchen and with only him looking after Aqui at night, I'm sure his energy is drained as well.
Being alone in the hospital room is difficult. I wished Ronnel and Aqui were with me all the time but it's hard for them too, being contained in a room with nothing to do. Parting is doubly hard with Aqui crying whenever she leaves the room, saying "Wawa Mommy, Wawa Baby" (I feel sorry for Mommy, I feel sorry for Baby). It could be a combination of hormones and contraction pain but sometimes I find my face drenched with tears. I draw my strength from Aqui, Ronnel and baby and ofcourse, the greatest giver of strength, our Lord. The alone time I have, I spend trying to be calm. Any anxiety I feel is felt by my baby so I watch movies, read novels, write and read the Bible as well. Sleep and rest became elusive as I needed to get checked every hour 24/7. Then Aqui had a fever which I'm glad has gone after a few hours. Ronnel has done a great job looking after her and I'm thankful for the strength that he has shown in this period.
19 Sept 2011
Once again, our plans (technically, it's the hospital's plans) have been thwarted. At around 9pm, one of the midwives did a routine monitoring of the baby's heartrate and discovered that it has gone above the normal range while my contractions have increased not only in frequency but in scale as well. It was fortunate that a doctor was doing her rounds so she was available for consultation at that time. The quick changes have alerted the doctors who made a swift decision to call for an emergency ceasarian. In a span of an hour, quick arrangements were made -- Aqui once again had to stay with the Baloyos while Ronnel had to come back to the hospital to be present during the delivery. All necessary forms and preparations were made for the upcoming operation and by 10:15pm, I was inside the operating theatre and by 10:55 pm, Baby Iarinelle's cries resonated in the white room.
The miracle of birth is what it is-- a miracle. Anything can happen and when it happens, you feel humbled by it. The doctors told me at the tail end of the operation that it was the right call to have the surgery then, as they found out that my placenta was bleeding which may have caused the waters to rupture in the first place. I would have been telling a different story if they have waited a day or two. I really feel humbled knowing that we are being looked after. I couldn't imagine what would have happened if the midwife skipped the routine monitoring, or if the doctor wasn't doing her rounds in the ward or if we stuck to the original hospital birth plan. I don't want to even think about the what ifs then.
And so Baby Ia says hello to the world at 35 weeks. We've chosen the name "Iarinelle" for two reasons, 1) we wanted to have Ronnel's name with the second one as my name was part of Aqui's Jacqueleen and 2) it suited her and the events that have happened. Dissecting her name, IA means she/he ; RIN means follow and EL means God -- so it literarily means "She follows God." The challenges have just started though -- because she's early, she had to stay in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) strapped with all the monitors and drips. It was heartaching to look at a little one in a Darth Vaderesque get up but we knew it was for her sake. Her fighting spirit shone through as she emerged healthy and strong-willed. They had to monitor her closely as her blood sugars were low and had to have a tube stuck to her nose so that she can ingest milk quicker. She had her own plans to show she was better than that as she started drinking from the cup and the bottle! The tube only lasted for a day and by Thursday night, she was in a normal cot and unattached to drips or any monitoring line! She is truly amazing, even the nurses are awed by her resilience.
As for me, I have been discharged from the hospital and trying to move to a NICU room with her. She still has to stay in NICU as she is still under 36 weeks but we're no longer worried. We know that we are being looked after.
Tonight, I sleep beside Aqui and Ronnel after six nights of separation. I miss baby Ia but I know the nurses are taking care of her at the hospital. Life is good. God is good.
Feast your eyes on lovely Ia!
