I’ve always wondered how it would be to be a single
parent (usually with admiration and relief I’m not one) but for the next few
days , I will no longer wonder as it will be my life. Ronnel is
away for nine days as he attends his brother’s graduation in the
Philippines. I’ve mentally, spiritually and physically prepared for
this since the day he booked his flights so I’m pretty much set for it.
My friend Tin keeps on reminding me how tough it would be—I told her reminding
me doesn’t help with the anxiety. To be honest, it’s not too bad.
Aqui is seven and now can be relied on for light chores. Axle is just a mess
monster so as long as I don’t have my hygiene standards too high, I think we’ll
be ok. Ia is a force to reckon with being a middle child and at a
stage where everything is a drama and she is the protagonist and I’m usually
the villain.
Day 1 was good as it fell on a holiday so friends
came to our place for a playdate/lunch. I even had time to clean and
prepare meals for the whole week. It also came as a pleasant surprise to
have a friend offer to take the girls for a walk along a nearby river.
This gave me some time to breathe and just sit on the couch with Axle who has
been very clingy since Ronnel left. I think he fears I too, will leave.
Aqui, Ia and Neon at the riverside
My days would start early, and need to go with
clockwork perfection. Being a single parent means you do not have
another adult at home to rely on. With Ronnel around, I could ‘steal’ a
few more winks and hit the snooze on the alarm, knowing that Ronnel will wake
me up. I don’t have that luxury anymore. I found myself awake
at 4 am and waiting for the time to pass, fearing going back to sleep and miss
the alarm. I promised myself I wouldn’t lose my cool with the
children, no matter how rowdy they get. With Ronnel here, I had someone who can
keep me in check at times they get on my nerves and my voice goes two octaves
higher. These days, I don’t and so I created a mental rule that if I
catch myself near that phase, all of them would go into time out – no matter
who started it. So far, I found myself on time out – browsing online
shops to distract me. Our TradeMe watchlist has so many items resulting
from my little ‘timeouts’.
Our temporary sleeping arrangements
All dressed and ready to go at 7:45 am
Ronnel keeps his word and FaceTimes often, keeping
the kids in anticipation of the presents they will be getting from their
grandparents. He also reminds me of the newly renovated Sydney duty-free
shops that he will make sure to visit in my stead.
It is day 3 for me today, and I worked from home to
allow for early kindergarten pick up and drop offs. I am blessed to
be surrounded by a great support group – friends and a wonderful child carer
who understands my fear of driving in steep driveways. This Saturday, a
friend will also bring the girls out for an afternoon activity and I will drop
off Axle to another friend while I brush up on my driving skills with another
good friend. This is what it means to be part of a community – it truly
takes a village to raise a child (in my case 3!) and to keep a mother sane.
It's a good thing that this is just temporary, I don't think the
community can keep me sane for too long.
I’ll check in back on day nine and hopefully, I am
still sane then.
