9D8N Single Mum

I’ve always wondered how it would be to be a single parent (usually with admiration and relief I’m not one) but for the next few days , I will no longer wonder as it will be my life.   Ronnel is away for nine days as he attends his brother’s graduation in the Philippines.   I’ve mentally, spiritually and physically prepared for this since the day he booked his flights so I’m pretty much set for it.  My friend Tin keeps on reminding me how tough it would be—I told her reminding me doesn’t help with the anxiety.   To be honest, it’s not too bad. Aqui is seven and now can be relied on for light chores. Axle is just a mess monster so as long as I don’t have my hygiene standards too high, I think we’ll be ok.  Ia is a force to reckon with being a middle child and at a stage where everything is a drama and she is the protagonist and I’m usually the villain. 

Day 1 was good as it fell on a holiday so friends came to our place for a playdate/lunch. I even had time to  clean and prepare meals for the whole week.  It also came as a pleasant surprise to have a friend offer to take the girls for a walk along a nearby river.  This gave me some time to breathe and just sit on the couch with Axle who has been very clingy since Ronnel left. I think he fears I too, will leave. 

                Aqui, Ia and Neon at the riverside

My days would start early, and need to go with clockwork perfection.   Being a single parent means you do not have another adult at home to rely on.  With Ronnel around, I could ‘steal’ a few more winks and hit the snooze on the alarm, knowing that Ronnel will wake me up.  I don’t have that luxury anymore.   I found myself awake at 4 am and waiting for the time to pass, fearing going back to sleep and miss the alarm.   I promised myself I wouldn’t lose my cool with the children, no matter how rowdy they get. With Ronnel here, I had someone who can keep me in check at times they get on my nerves and my voice goes two octaves higher.  These days, I don’t and so I created a mental rule that if I catch myself near that phase, all of them would go into time out – no matter who started it.  So far, I found myself on time out – browsing online shops to distract me.  Our TradeMe watchlist has so many items resulting from my little ‘timeouts’.

          Our temporary sleeping arrangements 

          All dressed and ready to go at 7:45 am

Ronnel keeps his word and FaceTimes often, keeping the kids in anticipation of the presents they will be getting from their grandparents.  He also reminds me of the newly renovated Sydney duty-free shops that he will make sure to visit in my stead.

It is day 3 for me today, and I worked from home to allow for early kindergarten pick up and drop offs.   I am blessed to be surrounded by a great support group – friends and a wonderful child carer who understands my fear of driving in steep driveways.  This Saturday, a friend will also bring the girls out for an afternoon activity and I will drop off Axle to another friend while I brush up on my driving skills with another good friend.  This is what it means to be part of a community – it truly takes a village to raise a child (in my case 3!) and to keep a mother sane.  It's a good thing that this is just temporary, I don't think the community can keep me sane for too long.  

I’ll check in back on day nine and hopefully, I am still sane then.