Twice the Fun!

Yup, I'm writing again -- and this time about the fun and folly of being a mum of two princesses.

Having two girls is not only economical since we get to "recycle" the gowns, party dresses and other girly stuff but it also gives us the chance as parents to correct our ways. As all first time parents were, Ronnel and I were OC with Aqui. We prepared well, we attended Ante-natal classes, read several prep books, registered in several baby websites and religiously researched ways to prepare for Aqui's coming. And so when she came, we thought we were equipped with the good techniques of parenthood. Most of the time, we were ok but there are times that we threw away those techniques and just let her get her way. This time around with Ia, we'll be wiser - or maybe, our resolve is much stronger because we know that's it would be for the best in the long run. So here's a rundown of the things we've done really well with Aqui that we'd continue with Ia and the Not-so-good things that we'd like to do better this time around.

TOP 3 THINGS THAT WORKED GREAT WITH AQUI (which we will do with Ia)
1. Self-sufficiency/ Independence. Aqui is quite independent for her age - she can go to the toilet herself and clean up (except for #2), turn the TV or iPad on, brush her teeth by herself and eat on her own. This independence didn't just happen overnight, it came with the price of soiled carpets, several trial and errors and a whole lot of grey hair (on our part). As early as six months, we had her explore food and eventually she put food in her mouth -- thanks to the encouragement of ante-natal classmate Angela Watson who's strongly into Baby-led weaning. Aqui had a lot of encouragement from us-- within reason and safe environment, of course. Every time she said she can't and sought help from us, we'd evaluate together if she really can't or if she's just lazy. More often than not, it's the latter so we'd push her to be able to do it herself. Eventually, she'd surprise us in showing us things she's able to do on her own! We even had to change the PIN on our iPad because she's started memorizing that too.

2. Bilinguality, bilingualism, bilingualisation? Whatever you call it, we'd still do it with Ia. At home, we speak Filipino with Aqui and we leave the English to her friends and childcare provider. At first, I got mixed reactions from family and friends, advising me that it will confuse Aqui or it will be too hard. Yes, it is hard and sometimes we catch ourselves responding to her in English as well. We don't beat ourselves if we miss but we still try to speak Filipino as much as we can. At Aqui's latest Plunket visit, the nurse lauded me for this because she said it's a really hard thing to do for parents. Most foreigners just give in to the children and speak the local language eventually. The nurse said speaking two (or more) languages increase the learning ability of the child as she gets to deal with more than one meaning of a single concept. We are still struggling now especially since most of the songs and rhymes are in English (although I teach her some Filipino songs too) but I think it will be better with Ia learning to speak Filipino as well so they can converse with each other.

3. Inter-action. Aqui grew up in a busy environment. We went to play dates, play centres, kids concerts, Couples for Christ activities and had music all the time at home. This resulted in a very friendly Aqui - sometimes even too friendly (or brave) for my taste that she'd challenge a six year old in a playground. I'd like to do this again with Ia and bring her up in a world of songs, games, dance, and friendship.

TOP 3 THINGS THAT WE'RE DOING / WE WILL DO BETTER WITH IA
1. Sleep Training. We've trained Aqui to sleep well at around three months and it was working quite well but then my dad came and the spoilage (!) began. My midwife told me once that there's no such thing as "the grandparent spoiling a baby" IF the grandparent stays and lives with us to take care of the kids forever. It only becomes a problem when the grandparent leaves and boy, did we have a problem with Aqui when Lolo left. It was just three weeks but she already knew that the cot was very different from a warm embrace. There were times she slept on top of me the whole night and I had difficulty breathing and the bane of co-sleeping began. But it wasn't all that bad, co-sleeping provided for lots of entertainment too. You'd always get a warm good morning and sometimes an I love you first thing in the morning - accompanied by a foot on your face or a slap on your ear. Ia, as of writing this, is fully sleep trained! She sleeps on her cot 8-9 hours straight and doesn't need to be lulled to sleep. You just put her down on the cot, turn on her favourite music mobile and she dozes on her own. Of course, she got there with a lot of hard work too and three weeks of back-aching sleep training regimen. This doesn't mean Ia will grow up lacking cuddles - she just has them when she's awake.

2. Bottle-Feeding. Don't get me wrong - Ia will still be fully breast-fed. Aqui was fully breast-fed up to 19 months as she had a dairy allergy which eventually went away. Breastfeeding worked really well with Aqui plus it doesn't cost much - well, aside from me being ravenous all the time. The only thing we were lax about was feeding her via bottle as feeding her directly from me was just more convenient than expressing. This became a problem especially since we started leaving her at child care at seven months. With Ia, we try to give her at least one bottle a day. She refuses and cries with all her might but eventually she gives in. I'd have Ronnel do the bottle feeding as I think the "milk" smell coming from me is too strong for her to settle for seconds - of course, Breast is best.

3. 1-2-3 Time Out! We've done this with Aqui but not consistently as usually, my temper would get the better of me and then the yelling starts. One time, I noticed Aqui lining up her Barbie and Dora dolls and she was pointing at them and started to yell at them to go to the Naughty Chair. I felt really guilty and I am going to try hard to keep my temper in check and do the 1-2-3 Time Out step by step as the book says.

4. Less e-Learning and more Old School. I know I said three but here's the last one, I promise.
Aqui lives and breathes technology just like Ronnel and me. Can you blame an apple not falling far from the tree? A typical Saturday for her is waking up with the iPad and turning the TV on after breakfast. She'd also log on and click the mouse on the PC (she doesn’t really do anything, just moves the mouse around). She would then play a few games on her dad's Nook. If we have a game on the Wii, she'd play that too. We'd go to the park and she'd make sure to have me take a video or photo of her. Then we'd go home and sometimes she would call her grandparents via Yahoo video on the iPad. Before going to sleep, we try to read her a book but she can't sit still and would prefer the Kid's channel on the iPad's YouTube. She would then say her prayers after a last peek on the iPad. I swear if she didn't go to Child Care, her days would be like this. There was one time, we hid the iPad from her and when she started looking for it and couldn't find it, she threw the biggest tantrum ever. She was running around and lying down on the carpet, screaming and crying "I want iPad!” Ronnel and I were quite surprised with the strong reaction and watched her for a few more minutes before eventually giving in. Ronnel said she resembled me when my phone got broken before. Ha Ha.

So there you go, hope this was a nice blog come-back :-)