When Tragedy Strikes....

September 2005

I would like to share with you my first tragic experience here in Malaysia. But first, let me tell you briefly on why I’m here in your country.

It was in July last year when my husband got an offer to work here. We were newlyweds then and we weren’t really thinking of leaving the Philippines. I was already a Project Manager in one of the top banks in my country while my husband was to be promoted as well. When he got that offer, we had to think very hard. It was even harder for me because it meant giving up my career. But then, I would rather be a housewife than be separated from my husband. And so we resigned from work and started our journey to a good life here in Malaysia.

It was Merdeka time when we arrived. We spent the first few days shopping and sightseeing. We also made friends with some of the Filipinos in our place and they even invited my husband to play basketball. He was excited since it was his favorite sport and he was good at it. I was also happy for him and I even bought him new shorts, shirt and rubber shoes to mark his first basketball game in a foreign country. The day came and he woke up before six in the morning to make sure he wouldn’t be late. You would think it was a competition when it was really just a friendly basketball game. They went to YMCA Bangsar to meet with other Filipino players. That day, I couldn’t go back to sleep so I decided to do the laundry. An hour later, a neighbor came knocking on our door and told me that my husband was being rushed by to the hospital in an ambulance. I quickly showered, grabbed my purse and asked a friend to go with me to the hospital. It was my first time in the emergency room and I didn't like what I saw or smelled. As I saw him lying there, my heart leaped and my soul cried out with sympathy. I saw bloodstains on the wrap covering his right leg. The breaking of the two leg bones was so fierce that it punctured the skin. It was fortunate that the bones didn't stick out. As I learned the story on how it happened, I wanted to hunt down the guy who was responsible for this. Apparently, my husband was about to make a jump shot when some guy jumped and kicked him while on the air. He never even said sorry or helped in bringing my husband to the hospital. I wanted to find him and ask him how he could sleep at night. But there were more important things that I had to do so I dismissed these thoughts and focused on the matter at hand. I had to make arrangements for his admission to the hospital.

My husband underwent two surgeries: the first one, for cleaning the wound inside and the second, for the insertion of the metal implant to support the broken bones. During these operations, I did nothing but pray. When I've exhausted all my prayers, I started questioning things. I wanted to know why this happened. The question, "Why him, why him?" kept repeating in my head. I wanted to trade places with him, thinking it should have happened to me. I didn't have work and had all the time to spare. He had to stop working for a while. Even when the time comes that he had to go back to work, I know that the pain will be excruciating. How will he run after the LRT and the bus? But I knew these were all wasted thoughts. There was a reason this happened. I always believed in the saying that God never gave trials we couldn't overcome. I believe when a door is closed, a window will be opened. And a window opened for me. I was offered a temporary job at Scope. I took the job with no qualms and did my best even if the work was way below my skills. I guess my supervisor then liked what she saw and recommended me to RLS-Secured Lending, who took me in as a Business Analyst.

With this new job, we were able to cover our daily expenses while hospital bills were taken care of his insurance. He was on crutches for a couple of months and it was a real pain to see him struggling about. Gradually, he improved and soon he was able to walk on his own. In these trying months, we learned to depend on each other. We tried to make light of things and joked about his bionic leg. Our lives are getting back to normal now, except for the leg pains he feels once in a while. We are still waiting advice from the doctor on whether the metal will be removed from his leg. When I think about this, I feel heavy-hearted for I know my husband will go through the same pain again. But we have no choice. We will have to do whatever is best for him.

Now that this storm has passed, we realize how lucky we are to survive. Tragedies like these show how much backbone we have. Looking back, I would have thought all I can do is cry and spite that cruel fellow who hurt my husband. Honestly, I don’t hate him at all. It would have been easier to blame everything on him and wish him all the bad luck in this world but I wouldn’t want to waste even a minute of my day on such sordid thoughts. As my husband and I decided to let go, things became clearer to us. It was easier to move on and heal, both physically and emotionally. We became closer. Our marriage became stronger. We know we could overcome all the problems crossing our path. I know this is such a molehill compared to the mountainous problems being faced by others. For that, I am thankful.

And so, let me end with a poem I wrote during my darkest hours:

I thank God when darkness falls,
For I know, morning comes after.
I thank God when the rain pours,
For I know, a rainbow comes after.
I thank God when tragedy strikes,
For I know, blessings come after.
I thank God for every wound,
For I know, healing comes after.
I thank God when I feel pain,
For I know, joy comes after.
Lastly, I thank God for every trial,
For I know, I am so much stronger after.